Fearful Living-Dreams Unfulfilled

False feelings
Ended dreams
Actions stalled
Regrets unlimited

“If we wait for perfection we would end up not doing anything. If we start something and persist, we can get closer to perfection than if we never tried.”

The fear of ‘not being perfect’ enough can stall our actions and deprive the world of our message. We have to start somewhere and practice makes perfect!

Illusion or Reality

Are those fearful feelings even real? One of my sons is afraid of the dark. When the light goes out he can’t sleep unless someone is with him.

One night I sat with him for a bit. I took off the lights but left a night light on. I left the bathroom door open and went to lay next to him. He could see straight into the bathroom and he started to panic. He said there was someone in the bathroom.

I looked from where I was sitting but saw nothing. He hid his face and said someone was near the wall. I walked across to the bathroom and put on the lights. It was a bathrobe that was hanging on the hook.

He asked us to leave the bathroom light on or close the door but then when we closed the door, he started to see things in the room even though the night light was on. He said that without his glasses things get blurry and fuzzy and many things look scary.

So do you need clarity and the lights on to mitigate your fears? What steps are you going to take to determine whether what you fear is real or not? Learning about your fear is like turning on the lights. Are you going to choose to sit in the dark without your glasses and be afraid of what may not exist? This can cause anxiety, panic, and stress.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE!

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Letter to Fear

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Public Speaking? No way! Not for me! Or is it?

*** VIDEO on FEAR ***

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

~Albert Einstein

“Oh my God! I can’t remember what I had to say. Why are their faces so blank? Somebody smile…please? Oh my, words, words, come to me. Like I have magic to bring words to my head…”

How familiar does the above sound? Public speaking can be quite scary.

Group presentations are okay but an individual presentation is another story. I was doing a presentation in university when fear struck my vocal chords and a British accent kicked in. Like what the heck!

I don’t even have a British background. I am an island girl who would normally be asked to repeat things due to my accent and pronunciation but that day I had the most perfect British accent. Every word so crisp, so clear, so polished.

Years later, I am a guest at a Toastmasters meeting and the scheduled speaker was not able to make it so I was asked by the Sergeant at Arms if I would like to speak. My first thought was to say no but earlier that day, I declined a request to present at another meeting.

Being asked a second time in a day is not coincidence. In my opinion, it is the Universe sending me a signal to the next step in my journey. I was being presented with opportunities. I had recently been contemplating on my fear of public speaking and these opportunities popped up. Coincidence?

 So I embraced the opportunity to speak at Toastmasters that day. I was told that I could introduce myself and talk a bit about me. I am not very good at talking about myself. At least I don’t think so. Anyway, I went up when I was called.

I felt so numb that you could probably cut me with a sharp razor and I wouldn’t feel it. Okay! A little exaggerated but I was numb. My vision also seemed to be affected. I could see but not see.

There was about 20 people in the room but that was enough to cause a roller coaster of emotions, blurred vision, and a brief moment of forgetfulness.

Thoughts started to race through my mind: Was my clothes okay? Is my hair okay? What are they thinking about me? What if I say the wrong thing or use incorrect grammar?

I knew the Sergeant at Arms fairly well and when I went up I forgot his name. Oh my God, so embarrassing. How could I forget the name of the person giving me such a wonderful opportunity?  I called him a different name but I know I got the first letter correct.

After the awkward moments passed and I realized how accommodating the audience was, the words just started to flow. I kept my gaze on those who were nodding in agreement or even just holding a smile.

When I saw a neutral expression my eyes would shift to look out the window or up at the ceiling or down to the floor. Oops! I know I should keep my dark browns on the audience but at least I was giving it a shot and not running back to my seat.

As the seconds passed I got more comfortable and I focused on my speech—I spoke about FEAR. I asked the question ‘Why are we afraid to come up and speak?’ I used the situation as the basis of my speech. It was also a relatable topic.

Once I got going I could not stop. I believe that I was supposed to be up there for about 5-7 minutes but per the timer I was at over 9 minutes. Luckily, I was the only one to speak.

After speaking I returned to my seat. My heart was still pounding with excitement. I felt like I could actually hear it and wondered if the person next to me could hear it too. I was proud of myself and I couldn’t wait to do another speech. I know I had to do it pretty soon in order to keep the momentum going.

A few months later I did a ‘prepared’ speech and it was better than I expected. In the days leading up to the presentation, I practiced my speech several times. I recorded it. I listened to it. I practiced the presentation with my four kids as the audience. I kept it simple and spoke from the heart.

I even upped the stakes a bit. I included some singing in the presentation as I was taking the topic of fear and doubt further. I expressed that I loved singing and I lost my opportunity as a teenager to join the school choir all because I doubted and was afraid.

Not too long after the second speech, I was asked to participate in two International Women’s Day (IWD) events. The audience for each IWD event was very different and each experience was different.

These opportunities happened in a space of less than 6 months. I trust in the Universe and in God. I realized that I need to keep my eyes open and seize the moment when opportunity presents itself. It is better to try and see what needs improving than never trying and living with unfulfilled dreams.

“We are each a seed of pure ‘potentiality’ and with the ‘right’ conditions we would be amazed at what we can blossom into.”

Personal Reminders

• Keep my eyes open and seize the moment when opportunity presents itself.

• Embrace opportunities as this will allow me to assess how good I am and assess what needs improving. Taking chances will help boost my confidence.

• Take steps to help improve my abilities. Read books, take a course, talk to others. This will help me deal with doubt and increase my confidence.

• The more I practice, the more confident I become and I will gain the courage to take on new challenges.

• If something does not go as planned, then review the situation and consider the steps that need to be taken to improve the situation.

• I have a message to share with others and it is my duty and privilege to find a way to share this message.

Are you going to be the seed that blossoms or the one that just falls from the tree and lay dormant until you are absorbed back into the earth? I can’t imagine a world without flowers, fruits, or trees. Share your beauty with the world.